False love

my whiskey glazed eyes

loved the way you danced

you were a whirlwind controlling and commanding

everything around you

i never believed there was quiet in the eye of a

hurricane

until you noticed me, and time stood still, silent

i loved the way your mouth felt on mine

and on everywhere but my mouth

i loved when we slow danced to Avicii

burning like a fire gone wild that Saturday

and the next, and the next, and the next

i loved hearing you, my favourite record

hearing, never listening

loved feeling stupid around you

you loved explaining, never debating

you loved answering, never asking

i loved breaking up, loved the grown-up feeling

of heartsickness, so I christened it

you loved leading me on

you loved me hanging on your every word

months after we were done

i loved pretending to hate you

i loved ignoring you and playing victim

you loved avoiding eye contact but watching me

to see if I was watching you

(i was)

i loved meeting up a million years later

and everything being easy

realising we were two perfect strangers

who were in love with ideas

but never each other

by Anna Chidlow